I rest my case

Some smiles are wry,

and flimsy and grey.

Some shores dry out,

Some seas never sway.

In the hollow of the night,

Some echoes fade away.

Some blood reeks of the sky,

n birds fly mislay.

My leap leaves me behind,

As my life stales away.

With all smoke in my eyes,

I rest my case.

Arreee.. Its OK naa...

 

Sometimes I wonder how difficult is it to be real and moreover how difficult is it to maintain your realness (if I can call it so). How darn hard is it to be yourself?

Not that the real you is not liable to change.
It is and pertaining to the laws of natural growth, it should change.
But the consciously real you still exists albeit it is unpredictably invariably variable.

There are bundles of packaged and synthesized knowledge (ahem!) present all around us. And it is said and believed that ideally one should approach such a preprocessed bundle and readily and compliantly (and blindly in awe of the presence of such a fancied nugget) absorb them and then drive one's entire life to become "them".

We are so conditioned by the idea of the inevitable helplessness to live and hence, "then why not happily.." that we deliberately ignore and magnanimously push the seemingly unquenchable thirst to question existence. We just don't want to think anything beyond or other than what the general-happy go lucky-ease loving and presumably content (going by the idea that if one never questions anything (even when it is not just natural but decidedly human to ask), one would become a lover and appreciator of everything and hence reach "happiness") have thought (so to say) and decreed universally acceptable. We hate and disgust the analytical and reason-seeking part of our minds (however pithy it be) and bribe and subdue it with obscure, undeniably incomplete and politically and diplomatically honey-laced justifications, fooling it with the mirage of its obviously understood other half.

There is no other half because there is nothing to complement it.
There is no first half. Its absurd and shite and repetitive and general. Its anything. Its random.

But we don't mind. We have time and again equipped our heads of the bitter truth that there are no answers. And hence that it is retardedly foolish to question. So just take what they give you and be great full for it because otherwise one would have to create one's own private justifications, which though are equally ignoble but do not guarantee a general acceptance of the crowd called society.

And yes the social acceptance of faffing and debating life and its beauty comes handy with it.
Just like a free gift worth the double of the price of the product itself on immediate order placement.
Sounds like a great offer, right!

But believe me the real satisfaction of being the real you and weighing whatever you have with reason and maybe, by the end of the process even discarding it, is far more REAL than a thousands glorious figments of imaginations of the desperately-happy-content you can ever ever get you.

Think about it..
Maybe the water does not just have a tendency to fall from a higher level to a lower.
Maybe your cell phone does not just dry out of battery even when it is in a stand by mode, because it has suicidal tendencies.
Maybe invention has mothers apart from necessity.
Maybe you should not avert the demand of reason when it comes to accepting something new.
Maybe you can question a seemingly universal fact.
Maybe you are allowed to think.
Maybe its not OK.

01-01-11

It's the new year.
All these years of my life I have lived in some kind of complex yet funny haziness of aim. And in the eve of the year's-end, the last few over-rated seconds without fail, make me realize the size of the hole of uncertainty and the feeling of utter foreboding for what is to come next. I have never clearly understood as to what are the grand celebrations in awe of. Is it the end that people eagerly want to celebrate or the start that they feel greatly hopeful for. What more changes could an year end and the beginning of a new possibly bring to the lives of anyone that any other random second that they waste masturbating, or a minute they pass faffing, or an hour/ a day they let go dreaming what the new year has for them, could not.
I mean, what's the big deal?
Apart from a few brands giving some very intricately manipulated discount on some of its cheesy products and you perhaps falling for it, what else could a new year do for you? Would a student who has been in a spree of failing pass without studying because its the new year or would some desperate one sided lover find his/ her fancied partner deeply in love with him/her on its account?

What is that one thing that would just all by itself conveniently change and make life easy for one living sole on earth, because the Roman Calender choses to restart itself from Square 1 on December 31 every cycle?

--NOTHING--

The celebrations for new year as I see them now are lame excuses for merry making on account of the end of the highly over-rated last few pseudo seconds of unsuccessful dreams and desires that could not be met. The arrival of the new year is like the arrival of new conveniences, new hypothetical opportunities that would definitely be met, and new unrealistically beautiful avenues that would certainly be conquered. Its a glorious figment of fancy imaginations that we celebrate and think by some undeniably outlandish logic that everything else would automatically fall in its place.

Every single thing that the much hyped new year could possibly bring, any second of the realization of truth could also bring. The truth that success would come to whoever would be ready to put his/ her heart and blood into their work and start applying reason to their decisions, whenever such an honest regard for logic would dawn upon them. Success is not waiting for you around the corner for the new year to come and grab it for you. Its a fool's paradise. There is no substitute for intelligent and hard work.

Time doesn't stop and start again. Nothing changes on its own unless until you decide to change it. So don't wait for the new year to come to take your decisions that you have left pending for it.
New Year or no New Year, "Just go and kick some ass".




n by the way,
Happy New Year.
01-01-11...

Jarhead

I have seen this movie a few times now. Every time I watch it I fall in love with it and prepare myself to write about it and then without fail, in its volatile aftertaste somehow lose my appetite to write.
I have been following the same protocol like a blonde for a while now. Now I kind of blame it on the movie itself (it's the safest move dude!). Jarhead is a precise, intact, insightful and objective movie with a very delicate and well-wound sense of subtle humor and pun in it. I break out into a laughter every time the Sargent tells the marines not to attempt to approximate the distance from a target in multiples of the size of their dicks. They are too small he says.
The opening and the closing lines as well as the visuals are deadly and the "Can I grab a seat?" of the supposed ex-marine who jumps into the bus with evanescent gusto fills me with juices of sad nostalgia. The moment is electrifying.
Same goes for the, "No definite protocol exists" and not to forget the last line, "We are still in the desert." It shows you how focussed the director has been in wanting to take the story to come to this note while playing around with the sarcastic humor of the body.

Afterall,
All battles are different.
All battles are the same.

Romantiks..

However when you stay aloof from me,All that shades my heart is murk.
A certain reverie peeps down in anticipation from tall unimpressionable towers,
And another, defeated fancy wraps itself into the oblivion of a lonesome corner.
Sometimes, the corridors to my heart are clouded by gloom,
Whereas, other times, there is light till the capacity of sight.


Nevertheless, of one thing I am sure,
I don’t love you…

The big plunge...

There were birds in that sunlit trench
all singing in vain, no loss no gain
no clue of worries or of pain..

and there was me.

There were trees with branches plush,
over colored grass drenched by rain
No! autumn would not arrive again..

and there was me.

And the clear bluish-grey sheet overhead
was flowing aimlessly, insane
in the whim to cover every iota of grain..

And there was me,
the happiest of all,
as sustainance I did sustain,
Lost a thousand times, stopped, chained
struggled, starved and fought to regain

And now complete as I am,
I am here to claim my rewards, my bunch
Here i am for the big plunge..

There were light leaking stars,
and trees playing sieves,
and there was me..

Busted...

Colors are fascinating, and so was my life,
the pull of thirst, the call of a drive.


There 'er fancies, unreached, dull and bright.
Likewise, I dreamed of water, sand and light.


And the windows that gave pass to the stars,
were ever open for the eventful and alive.


The roads shrunk in a flick, just one wrong turn,
It was too dark to fight and too late to return.


Now, there ain't much left to save,
A pile of shredded dreams, and my shed turned grave.


Confined by my protection, I feel stuck,
I am busted..


Abandoned by you, my imaginations have rusted,
I am busted..


Left to myself, I feel torn and wasted,
I am busted..


Hey Chris, hi Ana, fuck you, fuck all,
I am busted..